We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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