Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
