if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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