i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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