I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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