i may or may not be watching the land before time
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
