Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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