I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
