She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
