I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
