Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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