He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
