I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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