i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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