2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
