I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
