then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
