you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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