I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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