At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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