I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
