i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
