we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I touched a dick in church today
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
