I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
