He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
