i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
