she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
