sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
