Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
