After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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