Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
