What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
