Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
