so that wasnt chicken after all
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
