she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
