did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize