you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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