Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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