my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
