Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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