moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
