Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
