if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the liver wants what the liver wants
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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