I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
