If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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