From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is my gift to your gina
Randomize
