Sorry, I don't speak sober.
handjob tips. give me some.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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