Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no you cant smoke seaweed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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