i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
