I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
