i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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