Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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